Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there was a maiden in India named Devaki. Devaki gave birth to the God Krishna after a powerful force came to her and impregnated her. Gotta love those virgin births, right?

Anyway, according to one artist, Devaki and Krishna looked something like this:

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Devaki was a great mother. For one reason or another she had to give her child away, but it was not for lack of joy and compassion. Krishna himself was the physical embodiment of Joy and Love in the Universe. It’s hard not to love Krishna, because he is love. Sound familiar? ;)

Krishna is also the entire Universe. One day, Krishna was hanging out with his mom Devaki, when he opened his mouth, and in Krishna’s mouth Devaki saw the entire Universe. According to another, artist, it looked like this:

pw_lk_krishna_showing_universe_01_300

However, even though Krishna was Devaki’s son, and loved him very much, she was frightened to the bones. She may in fact have seen something more like this:

Krishna__s_mouth_by_eShovel

So frightened was Devaki, that Krishna in all his love did her a favor and shut his mouth. From then on she was able to treat him as a child with the compassion of a mother. Without Devaki’s mothership, Krishna’s physical manifestation would not have been able to come into this world.

Now. What the story doesn’t really tell you is that what Devaki actually saw when Krishna opened his mouth. If you will scroll down the page now, I will show you…

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KrishnaPhone

What?

Laughable, right?

This is your phone:

att_avail_120739

Your phone is an extraordinarily powerful and gifted child. He (Or She) is an autistic child who will do everything you tell him to, but he cannot tell you what is wrong with him. He wants to help you. In fact, he was created to do everything you ever wanted. He will connect you to people. He will gather information for you. He will tell you when you need to be somewhere, and he will show you beautiful photos of happier times. He does, however, need your love and patience. He (or she) even needs a nap every so often.

PhoneinBassinetAAAAaaaaw, isn’t that just cute?

Your phone can give you access to an entire Universe of stuff. He might even do well to have a name. What will you name your new child? ;)

Love you! and Namaste. Stay warm up there close to the North pole.

-Travis


OKay Mom, Help Is Here

Dear Mom,

For years and years you have pestered me with technological questions. Meanwhile I ignored your love and attention while you slaved away raising us three teenagers all by yourself, working full-time, going to school full-time. I played Everquest and rebelled against social norms by geeking out with my tech friends, disowning the social world and family in exchange for massive amounts of technological understanding and appreciation.

Trav

 

Well, from now on, and as long as you shall live, I will answer all of your technological questions and frustrations to the best of my abilities. Everything you want to know, I hope you can find here. Since you wiped my butt as a baby and catered to my every need for the majority of my life, I feel that this is only a small favor returned. I hope you’re having fun in Alaska!

Namaste and Love,

-Travis